Those of you that know me online, especially on twitter,
know that I have been notoriously absent from the online scene as of late. Without any real notice or explanation, I cut
off all communication with the larger internet world, aside from a few repost
and facebook shares. Other than that
there has been nothing,…. Most people don’t know what’s going on with me or why
I have subjected myself to this self-imposed digital exile.
First let me say that if you enjoy the content that I
produce, either from my rantings on twitter and facebook, or my musings on
Alternate Reality, then I apologize for not being there and not filling your
day with my sage-like wisdom (#selfindulgent). It really was not good form of me to just
vanish without a trace and offer no explanation as to what I was going through
or why I needed some time to myself. So
without further ado I offer… THE EXPLANATION!!!!!
On August the 9th, 2013, I found myself suddenly
unemployed. I say suddenly because one
moment I was employed and the next minute I was not. However, it was not sudden in the sense that
it was unexpected, because honestly we all suspected that something like this
was coming. Like standing blindfolded on
a train track and hearing the train in the distance,… you know it’s coming,…
you know it’s going to hit you,… but you just aren’t sure how long you've
got. That’s been my position at work for
the last year or more.
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| Cast of "Dallas" |
For the last 13 years I have worked as an insurance agent
and the general manager of my father’s independent insurance agency. For most of that time it was glorious. We were prosperous, doing well, and building
our very own “Dallas”. For those too
young to remember, “Dallas” was a tv show that aired in 70s, 80s, and 90s about
a rich Texas oil baron and his family.
It was filled with the usual drama and angst that most soap operas are
famous for, but the central theme of it was that this family ran their own
business, together, and got rich off it.
I was convinced that this was what lay in store for my family as well,
minus all the adultery, drinking, and attempted murder.
I very much liked the idea that my father and I were
building something together; a legacy that would be handed down from him to me,
and maybe one day to my children.
However, that was not meant to be.
Through a number of factors, some beyond our control, others unfortunately
not so, we found ourselves in dire financial straits these last few years. The business wasn’t as profitable as it used
to be and expenses had really ballooned.
Add to that a few failed business ventures and suddenly were on hard
times.
Things went from bad to worse this past summer and it became
a struggle just to make ends meet and cover our payroll every week. It was then that my father sat me down and
informed me that we were out of money and that he had no choice but to let me
go. I was devastated. Well, perhaps devastated is an over-exaggeration. It’s not like I went out in the parking lot,
sat behind the wheel of my car, and cried for an hour or anything like
that. No, I knew this day was coming but
was still a little shocked to find that it had finally arrived. I was also terribly disappointed in the
overall outcome of my life to date. I felt
that all the time I had invested in this family owned business, all the
sacrifices I had made, were a waste of time and that now at 37 years old I was
starting all over at square one. I felt
more than a little naive and stupid.
My immediate concerns were the most basic ones. How quickly could I become meaningfully
employed at a rate of pay similar to the one I had? Where would that job be? How would I find it? And how was I going to put food on the table
until it arrived?
The situation was perhaps more drastic than you
realize. Yes, while I have been working
for 13 years in that time there was no unemployment paid in on my behalf, to
save the company money, so no unemployment could be drawn by me now. Also I had only a small amount of money saved
because any extra funds generally when back into the business which was
suffering and needed the help. I had no
safety net to speak of. If it had not
been for my beautiful wife Debbie going to work at a factory I don’t know how
we would have made it.
Most of you who know me already know I’m a religious
person. I am a Christian. I hold a Bachelor’s degree in theology, and
am a lay-minister. So needless to say,
God is very important to me. It was at
this time I began to pray and seek God concerning my situation and what I
should do. After some time I believed
that God wanted me to rely on Him solely to get me though this situation. I felt like God didn’t want me to talk to
anyone about my problem. God said, “Tell
no one what is going on with you, that no man might say that they delivered you
out of this poverty, but Me only!” Yes,
I felt like God spoke to me. No I didn’t
hear an audible voice. Those among you that
are religious know what I’m talking about.
The rest of you will have to just trust me. The point is God was saying not to tell
people about poor pitiful little me and my situation. He didn’t want people having pity on me and
giving me money. Not that there is
anything wrong with that but God wanted this opportunity to show off; to
demonstrate that He alone got me though this situation and delivered me and my
family out of this turmoil. If anyone
else gave me any sizeable amount of money then they might take credit for what
God was doing. God will not share His
Glory with anyone.
So once I became resolved to keep my problem to myself I
quickly realized that there was no way I could go about my regular business of
gabbing online without spilling the beans.
Rather than violate what God had said I decided it best to just be
silent. If I wasn’t saying anything then I
couldn't say the wrong thing and cut off my blessing that God had planned from
me. So it was at that point that I
instituted “Twilance” (twitter silence).
That meant no social media communication from me to the world at large
until this issue was resolved. At the
time I figured it was no big deal. This
would be over in few weeks and I’d be back on my feet again and I’d give God
all the glory for getting me through.
Only, a few weeks came and went and I had no solution, and
then a few more, and then a few more,… suddenly I’m a few months into my new
state of unemployment and I’m starting to get a little more nervous. Yes I had a few dollars saved up, and yes
Debbie was working, but it wasn’t going to be enough. God needed to move on my behalf like He said He would. I needed to see some manifestation
of that promise. That movement
eventually came when I was offhandedly speaking to the agency manager of our
local Kentucky Farm Bureau agency, and I told him that I was in the process of
changing jobs, (without telling him that I was desperately unemployed and in
bad need of cash). It was then out of
the blue he offered me a Job with his company making approximately about what I
was making at my old job, with the opportunity to make more. Hallelujah, God is good!!!! It was the blessing I had asked for and the blessing
God had promised me. I was very excited
but that excitement was soon to become anxiety.
In order to get the job I would have to go through two interviews. However, it seemed I couldn’t get the company
to schedule the interviews in a timely fashion.
The first interview was three weeks from the time that the Agency
manager told me about the job, and the second was three weeks after that. So now I’ve been employed about three months
and even though I got the Job, which I did (thank you Jesus), I can’t start
until December the 1st. That
will make it approximately 4 months of unemployment before I can go back to
work, and my first paycheck won’t come until December the 15th. UGH!!!!
 |
| Daniel Prays |
I’m beginning to feel a bit like Daniel (you know, from the
lion’s den?). Anyway, Daniel at one
point was praying to God for the answer to some problem and God sent an angel
to Daniel with the answer. However that
Angel was held up by demonic forces that came against it and Daniel had to wait
21 days while the angel battled with the hellish foes before he could
eventually get through to Daniel with the answer to Daniel’s prayer. All this can be read in the Bible, book of
Daniel, Chapter 10.
I feel like God had this great job waiting for me all along
but that something has held it back from me.
Something is keeping it just out of reach. I have the job, but due to technicalities I
can’t start for another month, and it’ll be 6 weeks before I get paid. I don’t know if it’s the devil waging war against
me and holding up my blessing or if it’s just unrealistic expectations about
how long these things take. It’s been
really hard to get to this point and it’s liable to get harder yet. But the most difficult part of all has been
continuing to trust God in spite of all the difficulties I have faced/am facing/will
face. Faith and patience are two
principles that go hand in hand. Having
faith is easy for a little while. But
when the answer to your problem doesn’t immediately present itself will you be
like Daniel who had patience and waited upon God, or will you abandon God
assuming He has forgotten you, and thus lose the answer to your problem?
I think I will have patience but it will be hard and I will
need everyone’s prayers and support. I
feel like God has released me from my information embargo now that I have my
new job, so I am free to tell you all about what has happened in my life. I still have a long road ahead of me until I
am fully restored and back on my feet but every time I get up in the morning I’m
one day closer to my answer. One day
closer to having all this behind me.
I also have learned a lot of lesson’s though this whole
process. First, nothing is a sure
thing. If you think something going to
last forever, get over it, it’s not. Be
prepared for emergencies. 2nd,
whenever you are in need assume that whatever your answer is that it’s twice as
far off and twice as expensive as you really think it is. This cuts down on disappointment when you
find your answer just out of reach. 3rd,
if you ever lose your job, assume it will be six months before you can find
comparable employment of the same type/skill/pay. It’s a tough economy and you will not be
working in 2-3 weeks after losing a job, unless you flip burgers or pump gas
for a living. 4th, have an emergency
fund of about 6 months’ worth of expenses put back so you can manage your
employment in a much more reasonable fashion than I have and not feel nearly so
desperate. Lastly, trust God. He will get through any storm in life. He won’t guarantee that you won’t have
problems but He promises to make a way for you to handle your problems and come
out victorious. Trust Him!!!
It feels good to be back.
I’ll see you guys on the interwebs…….
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